Spring Cleaning

     Have you ever started to do a job and it turned out to be WAAAY more involved than you expected?  Well.  I started to clean out my back room today to make a gaming room.  We have been using the back room for storage for years now.  I opened the door and took a look at the job before me and I got kinda short of breath.

     You see.  At this point.  I couldn't swear, in a court of law, that my back room HAS a floor.  I have too much junk!  So, this is going to be a short one, but look for some nostalgic ramblings starting tomorrow as I find stuff from my life circa 2010.

     See ya'all tomorrow!

     PS> Dont worry.  I'm almost done with Star Wars vs Star Trek Part 3, it will be up before the end of next week.

Daydreams and Dreamcasts

     So.  Update time.  As some of you may remember, I have been reliving my childhood with my old Sega systems and games and having a blast.  Even having my buddy J.D. come over and play some double dragon with me.  It should come as no surprise to any of you that I am a bit of a Sega fanboy.  I started with the Master System and moved on to Genesis -> Saturn -> Dreamcast.  I believe that Sega's only problem in the hardware market was poor marketing decisions.  Well, a while back, Yuji Naka opined that he wanted to make a sequel to the (cult phenomenon) Sega Dreamcast.  So I decided to try my hand at an Op-Ed and write an article that might help.


Ten Suggestions For A Successful Dreamcast 2:

     ONE:  DC2 should be the Underground console 

      - It should be The Choice for those gamers burned by the current console wars, or the console market's utter lack of regard for consumer interests.

      - Sega shouldn't even try to directly compete with the big three (Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft) in the dedicated console world, they should market as the cool alternative to a real console.

      - Market not for the living room, but for the office or game room, hit up the crowd of fans who are tired of the never-ending quest to upgrade their PC's just to play games.  Make the DC2 more like a gaming PC than a dedicated console.

      - Don't advertise for families, concentrate on your already loyal fans.  Those of us who grew up playing Sonic and Alex Kidd are in our twenties and thirties now, we don't have to beg our parents for money anymore, we make our own.  We want a return to the glory days but with a pretty new HD sheen

      - Don't tout your higher power (though it must be at least competitive in terms of power with other consoles on the market, for cross platform games) tout your compatibility.


     TWO:  DC2 should feature an internet ready frontend to rival Live or PSN, only no mandatory fees.

      - Add a subscription service for more advanced stuff like social networking or streaming HD video content, but keep the basics free.  This means friends lists, matchmaking, game invites, and above all else, free access to the digital marketplace.

     

     THREE: Have at least 10 AAA titles (or ports of AAA titles) ready at launch.

      - Full HD remakes of the greats (Sonic 1-3, Sonic & Knuckles, Shining Force, Power Stone, Shenmue 1 & 2, etc.) available for download at launch could count towards this, but don't be afraid to launch with ports of the latest CoD or Battlefield game.

      - And I mean AT LAUNCH.  Nothing is worse than buying a new console and having no games for the thing, just look what happened to the Wii-U.


     FOUR:  A bonus card worth one free download of one of 'The Greats' (listed above) with purchase of every console, customers choice.

      - This is a no-brainer, and can replace the awful bundled tech demo "game" if you want to save on costs.  Though a decent bundle like Wii Sports wouldn't go amiss.


     FIVE:  Steal others controllers.

      - We already have the best formatted gamepad possible (or at least close to it) so don't fix what isn't broken.  All three major consoles have the same basic controller:  Two thumb sticks, finger triggers, a directional pad, a "start/select" button, and four differently labeled/colored face buttons.  Even the Wii-U uses this concept (albeit with a big LCD in the middle of the controller).  Do not be afraid to use this.

      - Nintendo gambled hard with the Wii-mote and I guess it paid off, but you aren't going for families, you are going for dedicated gamers.

      - Heck, to differentiate the controller, you can give it SIX face buttons.  This will enable some interesting game design decisions and will harken back to your Genesis/Saturn glory days.


     SIX:  Blu-Ray, DVD, Netflix, Hulu, YouTube and Twitch.tv compatibility.

      - Duh.


     SEVEN:  Keyboard and Mouse support. 

      - With downloadable CoD or Battlefield games available out of the gate, watch how the FPS market lights the fuck up over KB/M controls.

      - Real Time Strategy (Starcraft), Turn Based Strategy (Final Fantasy Tactics), Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (League of Legends), Massively Multiplayer Online Game (World of Warcraft) and, to a lesser extent, First Person Shooter (Call of Duty) games all truly suck when played with a controller (not to mention oddities like The Sims).  Allow full compatibility with Keyboard and Mouse and you can dominate all the markets that have generally failed on consoles in the past, you could even make inroads in the Microsoft dominated FPS market.

     EIGHT: A deal with an established developer for a new, exclusive IP for the DC2.

      - Exclusives are what make a console competitive in the console wars, while you shouldn't be focusing on competing with the other console makers, you can still have a few tantalizing goodies for loyal customers to brag about.

     NINE:  Steam compatibility.

      - In fact, just go ahead and make this thing a steam box along with everything else.  Not only will you be attaching yourself to the biggest PC games marketplace in the world, a LOT of players will love you if your inevitable achievement/trophy system syncs with Steam Achievements.

     TEN: Do Not Rush Things. 

      - Take your time.  We have waited ten years, we can wait a little longer.  Adopt the strategy of Blizzard when it comes to people asking for a release date "When It's Done" is a perfectly acceptable answer.  Make sure everything is ready at launch then watch as the Fourth console maker regains it's massive stride.  Just don't take TOO long, or you risk becoming a joke like Duke Nukem Forever.

     There you have it.  Ten tips for making Sega the biggest console manufacturer in the world.  Please feel free to take these tips to heart and give us Sega fans something to rejoice about.  Imagine it, if Sega came out with the newest console, completely out of the blue.  Sega could be king again!  Not to mention that it would shake Sony (the ever complacent), Nintendo (the near-broke gambler) and Microsoft (the semi-tyrannical) to their very CORE.  It would be GLORIOUS!

/daydreams

I Pity The Foo!

     Short one, today, loyal readers.  But I'm going to school ya'all in somethin' important!

     I'm gonna teach you suckas how to properly pity a foo.

     Step One - Find yo foo.

      - This shouldn't be hard.  Just look around, maybe look in the mirror.  What you're lookin' for is anybody who isn't, at this very moment, Mr. T.  Once you've got yo foo, move on to Step Two.

     Step Two - Look real hard at yo foo.

      - I mean REAL hard, like that sucka's gonna do a trick or somethin'. (But he's not, 'cause he's a foo.)

     Step Three - Think about yo foo.

      - Think long and hard about yo foo.  Think about all he could accomplish, and everything that foo could learn.  Ponder the wonders that foo could create.  If only he were Mr. T.

     Step Four - Think about Mr. T.

      - Think about how that foo is not, nor will he ever be, Mr. T.  Try to contemplate all that wasted potential.

     Step Five - You may now cry.

      - Weep, sucka!  You ain't weak!  Shed those manly tears over all the wonders that never will see the light of day.

     Step Six - Feel that, sucka?

      - That feeling you got right now, sucka?  That overwhelming wave of sadness and depression at the plight of this poor, poor foo?  THAT is Pity.

     Congratulations.  You just pitied a foo.

 - - - - -

     Ok.  I'm done channeling the great Mr. T.  Until tomorrow, loyal readers.

ICE to meet you!

     It's cold here.  I mean really cold.  Like frozen water and coat and mittens cold.  This is not normal, I live in North Carolina where if it drops below 65 they cancel school and roll up the sidewalks. Thank god it's not raining/snowing because I literally don't know how the people around here would handle that.  I'd say there'd be rioting in the streets, but everybody would just get cold and tired and go home.

     Personally, I like the cold.  I keep my house at 68 degrees, I like a brisk chill in the air, so I'm happy as a clam.  But you should see the people around here!

     It was announced that temperatures would drop below freezing for about three days.  Not even any precipitation, just cold air.  And there was a major run on basic supplies at nearly every store in town.  All three of the local wal-marts reported being out of toilet paper, bottled water, diapers, batteries, lunchables and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

     Like I said.  We don't know how to handle cold around here.  God forbid it actually snow.  They'd shut down everything for a week and declare a state of emergency if the sky got a little cloudy with it this cold.

     My point is, I want to live somewhere where people aren't so monumentally stupid.

     I hear Seattle is nice.

     Tomorrow:  New stuff!

Sega and the case of the mistaken NEStalgia

     Yeah, so remember when I said I would have the next episode of Star Wars vs Star Trek up today? Well, I don't.  Because I took my daughter hiking today and it went a LOT longer than I expected.  So, instead you get me ranting for a few minutes about stuff.

     I recently dug out my old game consoles and purchased some nice new audio equipment.  Which means I'm planning on streaming some old games, or maybe making some lets play videos.  I'm talking about my old Sega Master System.  That's right.  I was a Sega Kid.  I didn't have an NES or SNES, I had the master system, and a genesis.  If you've never heard of the master system, that's ok, it didn't do very well in the states.  Basically it was segas answer to the NES.

     The Master System was an 8 bit console with cartridge games (and even 'card' games, that were like really old fashioned USB sticks).  It had a two button controller like the NES but there was no start or select button.  The d-pad wasn't just a cross though, it was an actual thumb pad that made diagonal movement a lot easier.  Graphically it was miles ahead of the NES with brighter palletes, higher resolution, and more colors on screen at once, the best games on the master system rivaled even some snes games in the graphics department.  It also had a really good sound chip, that allowed for actual music and a wide range of effects.

     All in all, the Master System was a technically superior system that just couldn't compete with nintendo's install base.  I think Sega managed something like 12% of the market at the peak of the Master System.  My point is, I have my old Master System and a basket full of old games that I used to love, so I'm going to be making videos or live streaming some of them for you guys.

     Who knows, I might even have some special guests to help me!

     Anyway, that's all the time I have for today.  See you tomorrow, kiddies!

LRR-Itis

     I don't know where this day has gone.  From about 2pm until after 10 I was watching the launch special of Loading Ready Live!  It's like they turned the sketch comedy troupe we all know and love into a television channel.  You can see their whole schedule on their webpage which I will link below, but for now, know that I will be devoting a good chunk of my time for the next year to these streams.

     I will have part three of my special Star Trek vs Star Wars series up tomorrow, to make up for the recent short updates.  So I hope your body is ready.

     http://www.loadingreadyrun.com - Seriously, if you aren't already a fan, you need to fix that.

Toilet Humor

     Welp, it's that time again.  Time for me to try and squeeze an update out past the sphincter of having nothing interesting (or even at all) to say.  So, lets get this crap over with.  I'm sure your day is moving right along past this inconsequential website and the turds of wisdom found within.

     Ha!  I just managed five poop jokes in the space of four sentences.  And my ex told me I would never amount to anything.

     Who's full of shit now?

     Oh...  Wait...

Virtual pimping

     Wow.  I must have been tired because I slept for most of the day.  About the only thing I got done was breed a Pokemon for certain moves in Pokemon Y.  With the help of my good friend, Andy, I was able to breed a Tyrunt (a rock-dragon with high attack) with an attack boosting nature and the moves Fire Fang, Ice Fang, and Thunder Fang.  This is awesome because these moves are already powerful, but Tyrunt has a special ability that makes all 'bite' attacks 50% MORE powerful.  This monster should be strong enough to sweep anything I come up against, and it took me several hours to finally breed the right one.

     Yes.  I spent a good portion of my day getting virtual dinosaurs to have sex off screen so I could hatch the resulting eggs in order to pick and choose among the litter for the best possible virtual dinosaur.  Taking into account stat boosting natures, Individual Stat Values, Innate Abilities, Attacks only learnable through breeding, special breeding items, pokemon gender ratios, and secondary Pokemon abilities that speed up the process.

     Remember when Pokemon was a kids game?

     Anyway, big thanks and shutout to my good buddy Andy, without whom I couldn't have accomplished my goal today.  When I see you at next years escapist expo, I'm buying you (and your lovely wife) a steak dinner.

     Welp, that's enough chitchat about children's video games for one day.  I have one last announcement:

     I finally secured some decent audio equipment for my computer, and with school starting back up I will finally have some free time to record some videos.  So look for some let's plays or other interesting videos that I may update with in the near future.  Also, you can check out my infrequent live streams over on www.twitch.tv/magicpokey.  I may stream some Magic Online, or maybe some Red Alert 2, who knows I may even stream some of my old Sega Master System games, whatever I do, it'll be fun!

Y-Me

     My wife gave me Pokemon Y for Christmas this year (spoiler warning, I'm a huge nerd).  Between the holidays and family obligations I finally got a chance to play it for a decent chunk of time today, and I gotta say, it feels like several steps forward for the genre.

     The core gameplay is there:  collect monsters, train monsters to beat local gym leaders, collect gym badges, challenge national monster champion, become the best (like no one ever was), stop an evil yakuza/mafia/ecoterrorist/activist group somewhere along the way.  The core of Pokemon doesn't NEED to change.  It's the trappings that surround that nugget of goodness that benefit from updating.

     Im going to assume a basic understanding of pokemon mechanics from this point out.  If you don't understand what I'm talking about, i recommend www.serebii.net for an explanation.  So, for better or worse, after about six hours of gameplay, here are my first impressions of Pokemon Y:

     New Monsters:

     - So far, the new Pokemon that I have encountered have all been interesting.  The new Fairy typing shakes things up just enough to be interesting without breaking anything, and I'm excited to discover what new creature will be around the next corner.

     New Mechanics:

     - EV training and happiness grinding are now mini games you can play at any time as well as semi-hidden in game variables.  Making training these attributes SO much easier.  I cannot stress enough how much this was needed, and is appreciated.  Training these attributes used to be such a long an tedious process that it almost wasn't worth it in game.  Competitive battling was almost exclusively done over the Internet on third party unofficial programs that can generate whatever perfect monster you want.  Sure, it's faster, but it lacks the oomph and feeling of accomplishment that comes with stomping face with a team of monsters at you spent hours lovingly raising.  This goes for the new breeding mechanics as well, which also received an update making it easier to pass down natures, abilities, and IV's.  All of this is EXTRAORDINARILY good for the series, and the fact that the mini games are pretty fun in and of themselves is just icing on the cake

     New Visuals:

     - All the pokermangs are rendered as fully animated in 3d polygons now, the battles look fantastic and the attack animations have even been given an overhaul.  The only thing that really needs to be said is that this is the first Pokemon game where I haven't turned off the battle animation within the first three battles.  The world has also been re-rendered to take advantage of the greater visual muscle of the 3DS, allowing for diagonal movement and a lot of perspective shifting.  This can be disconcerting but I find myself getting used to it and even missing the new visuals when I have to go back to the previous generations of games.  The actual 3D effects are limited to cutscenes and battles, but they are handled well, adding depth without too much noise.  You can still enjoy the game just fine without the 3D but it's an appreciated gesture.

     Misc. New Stuff:

     - Internet trades and battles went from a special building in a single city, to the top floor of every Pokemon center, to being integrated into the 3DS bottom screen menu over the course of the last three generations.  This has always been a move for the better, and having access to the Internet mechanics from anywhere in the game makes using the Internet nice and simple.  And then there's Wonder Trade.  Basically Pokemon grab bag gambling, any time you have wifi you can select any Pokemon (in your party or in your storage boxes) and send them off into the aether, the system then randomly trades your monster with someone else's monster.  It's completely random.  You may hit a common Lillipup or somebody may send out a legendary Mew.  You never know what you're going to get.  It's damn addictive, and I've spent an inordinate amount of time doing wonder trades.  Not only that: but whenever I see a strange new Pokemon my first thought (after 'what the hell?' and 'can I use this?') is how interesting that monster will be to throw up on the wonder trades.

     So.  There you have it.  I am THOROUGHLY enjoying the new generation of Pokemon and I can't recommend it enough to my friends who like this sort of thing.  My only gripe is that the app for transporting Pokemon from previous generations of games has been delayed by Nintendo.

     DAMMIT, Nintendo!  I wan't to bring over my custom-bred, IV perfect, EV trained, Moveset-Finalized Blissey!  I needs my white mage, Nintendo!  Don't hold out on me, man!

     Ta for now, loyal readers.  See you tomorrow!

The Doctor(s)

     I FINALLY caught up on Doctor Who.  Well, the rebooted 2005 series anyway, 40+ years of history is a bit much to watch, but I'll get to it.  The point is I've seen the 2013 christmas special and all the stuff leading up to it.

     Color.  Me.  Impressed.  I've been a bit off and on with The Doctor, since I started watching the reboot on Netflix about two years ago, watching ten or so episodes in a row then not watching any more for months because it didn't succeed in holding my interest.  Too much 'Next Generation' too little 'Deep Space Nine'.

     Ok, I realize I'm letting my nerdstreams cross, and you should never cross the streams, but it applies here, let me explain.

     Star Trek: The Next Generation has a single cast but not any real overarching storylines.  It's very much like the Original Series was.  Villain of the week, everyone is back to status quo by the end of the episode (with the exceedingly rare two or three parter thrown in), start it all over again same bat-time same bat-channel next week.

     That isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially in the era of waiting a week between episodes.  Having a cliffhanger or unfinished plot point was dangerous and could be a liability.  What if somebody missed a week?  Wouldn't they be lost entirely?  Well, no.  In a 'Next Generation' style series you can pretty much hop around and watch any episode at any time and know what's going on.  Because every episode starts from the same place.  The same cast, the same ship, same backdrop, new adventures.

     But this is the era of so called Binge Watching.  Where the internet and dvd players allow you to queue up a series and watch it from start to finish in one long go.  And a 'Next Generation' style show just gets repetitive after a while.  You start to long for real growth and change among these characters you have invested so much of your time in.

     Star Trek: Deep Space Nine did things differently.  Maybe it's a function of being set on a stationary...  Well...  Station, but the backdrop of adventures couldn't change that much, so the characters had to.  And this led to longer, multi faceted, intricate character arcs that draw you in in a totally different way.  Instead of tuning in to see how the intrepid crew tackles this new obstacle, let's tune in to see how these people grow and develop.  This turns every episode into a cliffhanger of sorts because it isn't a series of stories starring a group of people.  It's one big story about a group of people.  

     In a sense, the obstacles, the enemies and challenges were the stars of Next Generation.  They were why we tuned in each week, what fantastical thing will they overcome this week.  While the people.  The crew were just more parts of the machine that was designed to overcome the more interesting challenges.  The people were the backdrop and the adventures were at the forefront.

     By contrast, it was the PEOPLE who were the stars of Deep Space Nine.  The focus wasn't on the obstacle to be overcome each week, it was on the people and their relationships.  How will this person react to this loss.  How will their relationship be affected by this turn of events.  Will everyone survive?  The adventures were the backdrop and the real personal development of the characters was at the paramount.

     I prefer the longer, overarching storyline.  One that focuses on the characters and allows them to grow.  This is a personal preference.  Some people watch for the fantastical adventures.  I watch for the moving stories.  I guess that comes from me being a natural born storyteller, I like the STORIES way more than the scenery, however pretty it may be.

     But I (REALLY) digress.

     Back to The Doctor.  During the Christopher Eccleston (now known to be the 10th Doctor, it's complicated) run and even though the beginning of his successor, David Tenant (Doctors 11 and 12, again, it's complicated) Doctor Who was very much a 'Next Generation' show.  Wherein the characters were the backdrop for the fantastical adventures.  It maybe wasn't as pronounced, there were some very intriguing overarching plot hooks, but really, you could watch most of the first bit of the new Doctor Who in any order and still know what was going on.  It was about half way through Tenants run that the story began to shift.

     About half way through the 11th Doctor, the focus was changed from the time travel shenanigans to the people doing the travelling. This made the show a whole lot better, in my opinion.  From the end of Tenant all the way through Matt Smith (Doctor 13, I know you think you're getting it, but you're not) the show had a series of overarching stories that allowed the characters to grow as people.  More 'Deep Space Nine' you see.

     Anyway.  I have now witnessed the entire run of three Doctors (well four if you count the Time War Doctor, John Hurt, who comes before even Eccleston, but he was only in the 50th anniversary special) and I am hooked.  I will be eagerly awaiting the next season (or series, as it's called in England) of Doctor Who, and I can't wait to see how Academy Award winner Peter Capaldi (Technically Doctor 14, though he may be the first one again, see?  Complicated.) does in the role and what he does with the character.

     So, live on Doctor.  You have made a whovian out of me.