I'm Gonna Eat A Worm

     Depression sucks.

     Yep.  It's gonna be one of THOSE updates today, so go ahead and skip this one if you don't want to listen to me bitching about life for the next few minutes.  It's ok.  You wouldn't be the first person to ignore my pain.

     Wow...  That got a little maudlin...

     Sorry about that.

     So, here's the low down.  My birthday is coming up (March 20 in case you were wondering), and my family was planning on taking me out for dinner.  I'm turning 31, so I'm already a little depressed about the whole 'aging' thing to begin with.  Everything was fine.  I was even told that, surprisingly, my brother would be visiting for my birthday, and this made me kinda happy.  My brother moved several hours away, and I never get to see him anymore.

     Then, today, my mother just casually dropped a bombshell into conversation.  Like it didn't even matter.

     Oh, by the way, your brother isn't coming anymore.  Yeah, he's got some hobby sports thing instead.  Also?  Your sister, whom you haven't seen in weeks, has another birthday party to go to, and she might not make it either.

     Yeah.

     So much for family always being there for me?  Right?

     I mean, it's not like it's the end of the world.  I didn't even realize how happy I was that we were all getting together until we suddenly weren't anymore.  It really hurts.

     Like, to the point that I've been crying for a while now.

     Granted.  There's other stuff too, stuff that I don't really want to get into on a public forum that has me depressed.  But the thought that my siblings can just throw me away like that still really stings.  I'm sure that's not what they think they are doing.  I mean, I know life gets in the way sometimes, but still.

     It hurts to feel like you don't matter to the people you care about.

 - - - - -

     Anyway, that's enough bitching for one night.  I'm sorry, lovelies, I'll be more entertaining tomorrow.

**UPDATE** - It turns out that my sister might be able to make it after all, as long as her other thing doesn't run long.  Is it the depression talking or does it sound like I shouldn't get my hopes up?

     I think it's just the depression talking.

     I'm going to sleep now.  It will all look better tomorrow.

     Goodnite, lovelies.