Back Doors

     I promised this one in the very first post of this challenge:  Prepare for some blasphemous hilarity!  While I may not have the whole script ready, I can at least tell you the story behind my imaginary off-broadway production of "Butt-Christ & The Anal Apostles"!

     You know how sometimes you read something wrong, and for an instant find it really funny, until you read it again and it clears itself up?  For instance, a highway sign that says 'Bowler-Johns 5 Miles', at a glance, you could read that as 'Blow-Jobs Smile' and chuckle.  Well, I was pulling into the parking lot at school and happened to glance at a sticker in the window of an SUV.  The sticker read 'Not I But Christ' but my mind added a 't' and a comma to read 'Not I, Butt Christ'.  Completely changes the inflection, doesn't it?

     Well, this got me laughing, and it was one of those things that just tickled me in the right way and I laughed about this for a solid two days.  Intoning in a deep voice: "Not I, Butt-Christ!" and then laughing myself silly.  I actually hurt my chest I was laughing so hard.  I spent the rest of the next two days coming up with one liners and random thoughts, eventually morphing a single funny throwaway line into what you are about to read.

     Who knows, maybe I'll actually write the script.  But for now, I'm presenting you with this outline.

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Butt-Christ & The Anal Apostles

Written By : Pokey M. Smith

Music and Lyrics by : Pokey M. Smith, Albatross Gnomingtonson

Act I

Scene 1

 - Open on MARY MAGDALENE and JESUS in a field, M.M. is trying to convince JESUS to have anal sex with her.

 - Opening Number: "There's A Back Door Into Paradise" (JESUS, M.M. DUET)

 - - Transition during orchestral breakdown to JESUS standing among his sitting APOSTLES,

 - - Song Cont: "There's A Back Door Into Paradise, Part 2" (JESUS, M.M., MATTHEW, LUKE, JOHN, JUDAS, THOMAS D., other APOSTLES singing chorus)

 - Big Finish - Curtain - Transition to modern day library

Scene 2

 - FATHER BERNARDO and SISTER ANNA are perusing an old looking document

 - - They are discussing the document, which is an account of the events in the previous scene

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     I'm going to stop here, because I've decided to actually try my hand at writing this.  I'm going to post scenes and song ideas (as I finish them) on this blog.  I'm thinking this could be the next "Book Of Mormon", but then again, nobody ever accused me of NOT being a delusional optimist!  Who knows, maybe I'll finish the play and try to get my local theatre group to perform it.  We could use some more irreverent comedy around here!

     Anyway, Good Night & Asses Tight, everybody!