Weather Woes (and Woah's!)

     I've been running around all day, preparing for what my wife is calling a 'Massive Blizzard' so it's been a busy one.  Let me clarify.  I live in North Carolina, almost smack dab in the middle of the state.  My driveway is an hour and 45 minutes from the nearest ocean.  It doesn't 'Blizzard' here.  It may snow, it may rain and freeze until the roads become icy, but it just doesn't get that bad.

     The thing is, my wife should know better.  She's from Kansas.  Where they have REAL snowstorms every now and then.  But, alas, nobody ever said marriage was easy, so I've been busting my butt all day gathering 'emergency supplies'.

     The only good thing about the kind of inclement weather that's being predicted is that, around here, if a single snowflake hits the ground they roll up the freaking streets.  Schools, daycares, churches, even government buildings all close at the first sign of the temperature dropping below 25 for more than an hour.  They drive massive trucks around spreading salt on the roads to keep them from icing over.  They interrupt television every half hour with weather bulletins and 'snowpocalypse, a special report'.

     Meanwhile, the whole county is racing around gathering emergency snow supplies in, I swear to god I'm not making this up, 81 degree weather.

     It's hilarious.

     So, in honor of the coming snowpocalypse*, I present to you my family recipe for the best emergency food ever.  You can prepare a tonne of these and they keep at room temp for days.  And, they're freaking delicious.

     Magicpokey's Magic Sausage Balls

     Ingredients:

     2 and 1/2 cups Bisquik(tm) brand baking powder.

     1 pound of mild or medium ground sausage, Jimmy Dean is my preference.

     3/4 of a pound of shredded sharp cheddar cheese

     1 teaspoon of maple syrup (skip this if your sausage is already sweetened in some way)

     Instructions:

     Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

     Mix the sausage in a bowl by hand with the Bisquik, pour in the cheese while you knead the stuff until all the moisture has been absorbed by the powder and there is no powder left over.  Add the syrup to the finished 'dough' and knead it all in.  Your hands WILL get sticky, so be prepared for that.

     Pinch a bit of the dough and roll it into a ball about the same diameter as an American quarter.  Place balls on a non-stick cookie sheet about half an inch apart.  Keep doing this until you run out of dough.

     Bake until awesome.**

     - - - - -

     Enjoy!  I'll see ya'all tomorrow.

     *What we are really going to get is three inches of slush that will melt as soon as the sun decides to make an appearance.  Depending on how long the clouds stick around, it might refreeze over night, leading to more ice than snow.  Nothing good tire chains can't take care of, though.  I highly doubt that we will even lose power.

     **Bake the balls until they are a nice golden brown, usually around 10 minutes, but this varies from oven to oven.