Ad(non)sense

     Another short one today, because I'm tired and I've been out all day.

     So, I'm on a free week of Hulu Plus (short review: If current stuff is REALLY important to you, get cable instead, Hulu Plus is awful).

     Sorry.  So I'm watching stuff on Hulu Plus and they have ads.  On a service I am already paying for.  But I digress.  One of their ads is for the 13th season of American Idol.  This is a direct quote from the ad:  "Critics agree, this could be lucky season 13!"

     I have a few problems with that.

     Let's break it down.  "Critics Say"  What critics?  There is no one this is attributed to, is this the work of the mythical Anonymous Critics Association (Keeping people in the dark since REDACTED)?  I'm gonna assume that Josh and Skinny Pete in the mail room said it.  Because this quote sounds like it came from a mind with the approximate intelligence of a guy called Skinny Pete.

     How about "Lucky season 13".  What's so lucky about it?  Who's getting lucky?  Is it a contestant? Are you claiming that not one of this seasons crop of wannabe singers is good enough?  And one of them has to get lucky to win?  I don't get how this is supposed to sell potential viewers on your show.

     Now the big one.  "this could be"  What?  WHAT?  All of my WAT!?  This makes no sense.  Look, Fox, it's simple.  Is this or is this not the Thirteenth season of American Idol?  If it IS, then it can be "lucky season 13".  If it ISN'T, then it CAN'T be "lucky season 13".  It's a BINARY.  FUCKING.  CHOICE!  The phrase 'could be' implies a grey area, where this both IS and ISN'T 'lucky season 13'.  It's like Schrodinger's fucking reality show up in here.  Using a phrase like 'could be' here implies probabilities.  But there ARE NO PROBABILITIES HERE.  If this is season 13, then you can call it 'lucky season 13'. If this isn't season 13, then you're gonna have to call it 'lucky season 14' or 'lackluster season 12' or 'shitty reality show is shitty' or something.  There is no COULD here.  Because we KNOW, empirically, that this is season 13, then there is no possibility that this isn't season 13.  So no, it's not 'maybe lucky season 13.'  IT.  FUCKING.  IS.  SEASON.  THIRTEEN.  YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!

     *pant-pant*

     Sorry.

     I got a little worked up there.

     Anyway, all of that rage aside, when I explained this to my buddy J.D., his response was:

     J.D. - "Isn't this about American Idol?"

     Me - "Uhh, yeah?"

     J.D. - "Then I don't care."  (goes back to his newspaper)

     And you know what?  I can't think of a better sentiment to go out on than that.  Goodnight, lovelies!